I was nervous, and it got worse...

So, recently I have been very nervous about moving to Treasure Island, near San Francisco. I have everything packed now, and now I am just waiting for 2:30pm PDT when we are to leave. Unfortunately, yesterday when I was packing, my family had received the bad news that our grandma on our dad's side had passed away. This did not help my nervousness.

The reason why I am typing this here instead of talking with any of my family about it is becuase I don't feel ready to talk with them about it all that much, although, I don't think there was much to be said, becuase unfortunately most of us were not very close to her.

So, yesterday when I heard the news, becuase it had added to my nervousness, I became disoriented, finding it harder to continue packing than before, so much that I didn't get time to clean like I was planning to. I still feel a little bit disoriented, as I did not expect this much change while I would be moving. This amount of change in my life feels like it is too much, and it doesn't help that my mom decided we would leave later rather earlier, so I wouldn't have to be sitting in the hostel's computer lounge for 6 hours or so. That was a really bad idea on her part, becuase the longer I am here, the more I am going to miss this place, as it reminds me that I will likely not be moving back into this house ever again 

I was expecting to have already left, becuase yesterday we planned to leave at 10am this morning, so now I am tortured becuase I am forced to stay her longer, the place I am going to, and have before missed in the whole wide world. Like I was saying, though, this is too much change for my mind o handle, so much that I have been having a really hard time accepting the fact that my grandma is not longer with us. My brain literally cannot comprehend both the situation that is soon to come from me moving and the fact that my grandma no longer resides in this world, so it has rejected the latter of the two.

I loved my grandma. She was a nice lady, even though she kept refusing to move closer the rest of the family and then would complain about how hardly any of her grand children visited her, or even rarely called her. That was the one problem I always had with her, that both of my parents have always done. They just seem to all like to do their own thing, regardless of where their family is or what their family is doing, and it really kinda ticks me off. I did love her, though. I liked how she at least took on the task of keeping track of the family tree and our heritage, a task that no one else had the time nor the interest in like she did. Her recipes were also very good, her legend will definitely live on in these two things, as I plan to keep them going as much as I can, especially the recipes. I don't know who she wrote in her will to have the family heritage information, but I am definitely going sit down with them about the importance of our heritage.

All this being said, I'm going to be leaving in about 30 minutes. I'll likely be going through my DA messages when I get to the hostel, as I have nothing more important to do when I get there. After that, hopefully I'll be back with more things in about two weeks. I'll keep you all updated!